It’s been awhile. A long while. Let me first recap my last month or so. I’m now a grandma- Mawmaw to be exact (still working on that one). Yup, my teenaged (19) step- son is now a father. There are still mixed emotions swirling, but looking into the beautiful, innocent, fresh face of a baby somehow helps. A lot. My granddaughter is pert’ near perfect, and once again, just like I did when I held my own newborn son, I begin to wonder about the world she’ll live in. Wonder? Actually, I mean worry.
Nobody can quite predict the future, but current trends aren’t looking the greatest. We’ve got war and terrorists, eradicated diseases returning, politicians being downright negligent, an economy that is stagnant at best, and a society that covets perversion, yet shuns even an inkling of any moral compass. It won’t take but a blink for today’s youngins to be swept into a world full of greed, consumerism, apathy and selfishness.
And so it is that I must comment on the latest of such nonsense. I’m sure you’ve all heard of it. Heck, maybe you’ve even had your own “50 shades” night, complete with wine, a gaggle of otherwise proper ladies and a carpool ride to the local theater to catch a glimpse of an innocent, young lady being seduced by a powerful man that has a very unique definition of “date night”.
Now, there are a myriad of angles one might take to say, “Hey, let’s take a real look at this movie and why it might be wrong.” Once again, there appears to be the “Christian backlash versus everyone else” sort of mentality. Don’t get me wrong, as a Christian, I believe that this movie, first and foremost, smacks in the face of Christian morality. But, even non-Christians (atheists, agnostics, anti-capitalists, hipsters and yes, even *gasp* feminists) ought to be shoving Christians out of the way in order to push to the front of the anti-50 Shades line.
But they aren’t.
And therein lies the real problem.
We live in a society, built on Christian values, where we are now so far removed from such values that the slightest hint of someone using them as support for their cause is seen as suspicious, wrong, backward, stupid, right-winged, and downright cra-cra. The list of negativity toward Christian values is more than enough to circle the Earth three times.
And so, as we do everything we can to put Christians in their place, we miss the point, once again. So, I’ll try to make mine:
I am in no way a feminist. I’ve said it before. I think feminism has truly destroyed an entire sex of humans, maybe even both. But those are strong words, I understand. Still, how can any feminist or any other person with strong beliefs in anything, accept that the 50 Shades movie (and the poorly-written book trilogy from which it was born) does anything positive for women OR men? It simply does not. Period. In fact, the target audiences (TEENS and YOUNG adults in their 20’s) have spent their entire life believing in a subversive set of rules and standards in dating and sexuality, AND THEN they see a movie that takes those beliefs 10 steps beyond any sense of reality. And we wonder what happens next?
So feminists want women to rise above the notion that they are just baby-makers destined to do laundry and cook dinner for their working man? Feminists want us to accept that women are EQUAL to men-in every way– and ought to “prove” it by putting their gloves in the ring and clawing their way up the corporate ladder, leaving gobs of dazed and confused half-witted men in the fetal position in their wake? We’re to embrace that women ought to use their sexuality for what it was “intended” for- to get what they want at any cost? Because God gave it to them, it’s somehow their right to use it, and use it well? Right? And men- you’re not off the feminist hook. Men are tricked into believing that their own talents are nothing more than play things to be conquered by women. And that the only true power a man could ever wield is, well, just take a look at the Christian Grey character and you’ve got your answer.
That’s feminism, in all its glory. It’s not about empowerment. It’s not about a clear understanding that men and women ARE different, and should embrace their differentness. It’s not about becoming strong by being a woman, naturally. It’s about strength through a manufactured sense of self. It’s about proving that a woman is LIKE a man, in all ways. It’s actually, in a strange way, taking 10 steps back for the cause of women, as they fight to somehow prove their worth in a world of so-called greedy, selfish, power hungry, sex-starved men. AND it’s labeling men in such a way that demeans and marginalizes their own set of naturally-given skills and talents, in the process.
50 Shades does one thing well– taking the notion of feminism to the nth degree. Not only does the movie clearly signal to any viewer with a pulse that money drives everything, it also proves that women, even the ones that cry equality to men, can only be happy, can only be whole, can only be worthy, can only be satisfied, under the control of a man. And not just any man. But a man with power, wealth, prestige and no sense of chivalry, kindness, respect or sincere love of any kind. It’s the conviction that a woman could only be happy with a man that treats her like crap. It’s the idea that a woman is so in tuned to her own “power” over a man, that she’s willing to become powerless to prove it. Huh? That’s feminism. That’s 50 Shades. That’s what our society has become.
Women- wise up! YOU have power, BECAUSE you are a woman, not because you need to become a man, and certainly NOT because you need to use sex to be submissive to a man! You have power because you are sensitive, intuitive, kind, loving, caring, nurturing. You have power because you can multi task, feel deeply, listen intently, and because you can create LIFE and nurture that life and value that life beyond anything a man can do (sorry men, it’s true). We’ve trivialized child bearing and domestic chores so much that women have nothing left in their bag of tricks than to pretend to be a man, or, worse yet, use the only thing they have left to feel powerful- their sexuality.
Let it be known- 50 Shades was made to make money. Period. And it does that by tricking already-confused, young women into believing that submissive sex, as long as the guy is handsome, powerful and gives good gifts, is yet another way to safely shed all that makes us true women. Somehow, our society has led us to believe that our GOD GIVEN talents as women aren’t worthy enough or aren’t as important to the human race as the talents of men. FEMINISM has led us to believe that. And we’re passing all that bull down to the next generation, that has nothing left to do but to take those beliefs one, two or even 20 steps further to the point that women willingly put themselves back to the position from which all this feminism nonsense began in the first place. And all the hype and giddiness that is swirling around this one movie is all the proof we should need.
Mothers, grandmothers, wives, sisters, aunts and friends-do us all a favor. Pull together all the feminine power you’ve got, gather together (with wine, of course) and celebrate your unique and powerful womanness. Celebrate who you are and what you can be. And if you truly want to feel fulfilled, feel powerful and feel genuinely “equal” to men, then just be you. Accept help with the pickle jar, wait for him to open the car door for you, love him with all the nurturing talent you have, expect him to love you with the same kind of respect and care, let him take care of you, even a little (because he has talents too, you know), love your children the way only a woman could do, be emotional and let him comfort you. Own and embrace your skills! And for God’s sake speak out and stand up for the future of your daughters, nieces, and granddaughters. Don’t give 50 Shades what it wants- your money, your womanhood, your power. Keep it for yourself, and pass it on to the next generation of women. They’re gonna need it.